Is Your Teenage Son Is Bullying Other Males? How Can You Stop It?
Power and control over others is what bullying amounts to. The physicality of male bullying is far worse than female bullying. If you have recently come to know that your teenage son is bullying other males and wish to put an end to this intolerable behavior, then it is going to take a great deal of hard work and assistance on the family’s part.
The origin of the male bullying is the primary factor that needs to be recognized and understood. It may be that your spouse is a male bully. Children only come to learn what they see at home, and if it is a case of your husband being verbally or physically abusive towards you in the home, then this is something which certainly needs to be addressed immediately with the help of professional intervention.
Even though your initial thought may be to prevent your teenage son from continuing this male bullying behavior, you cannot undergo this single handedly. It is possible that your son began to use verbal abuse early on in his life and was never warned of the consequences of his actions. Or maybe your teenage son became a teenage bully due to an inner conflict that occurred in the past and was never questioned about it.
A school official may have notified you that your son was involved in an incident. This may have been the first time. Maybe you had absolutely no idea that your son was so out of control. Perhaps at home, he did not reveal all of his frustrations. Therefore, you now have the dreadful nightmare of being confronted with a frightening prospect that your teenage son is a male bully and it is vitally important that you know exactly how to stop this.
So, how do you stop it?
First and foremost, it is essential that you accept the fact that your teenage son has a problem. Secondly, if you yourself feel any guilt about the fact that you did not recognize this, you need to dismiss that guilt immediately. Thirdly, the situation should be discussed with your spouse and attempt to determine whether this is a learned behavior or something that has simply developed.
It is imperative that your next port of call is contacting a psychologist. It is less likely that a boy will open up to family members about such problems, especially parents. It is important that you prepare yourself for a great deal of anger to be displayed by your son. He may, by you making an appointment with a professional to seek advice, feel betrayed. Your son may remain in his room with music blasting, avoid homework assignments and even skip classes.
This is never an easy time for any family, but you are the heart of the household and because of this, it is your role to hold everything and everyone together. If you have younger children, then it is advised to hold a family meeting. This is because your younger children may have been frightened by the behavior of your teenage son and they will need it to be explained to them what is being done to help him.
It is imperative that you show your son as much love and support as possible. The lines of communication should be left open, and under no circumstances engage in the blame game. This will certainly not help the overall situation. The reasons for your son becoming a teenage bully will come out into the open once he attends therapy. Again, sit down with your spouse and discuss the situation.
A great deal of emotion and angst is going to be experienced by your son when he is in therapy. Under no circumstances should you push him to talk to you about the situation if he chooses not to. Allow him sufficient space to work things out for himself. He will be provided with tools by the therapist, which he can use to control his anger whilst he is determining the underlying cause.
It is essential that you remain strong. Your natural instincts will inform you of when it is the correct time to approach your son to begin a healing dialogue. You can stop your son bullying other males. It will not happen overnight, of course it will take time, but it can be accomplished.
© By Mandy-Jane Clarke 2008
This article is courtesy of http://www.Stop-Bullies.com,
a resource site covering specific areas of Bullying including is your Teenage Son Bullying Others.
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